Hi, I’m Virginia Gilbert MFT
I live in Asheville and I practice therapy with both North Carolina and California clients. I specialize in helping people going through high-conflict divorce, relationship problems with their partner, and attachment trauma.
About My Approach
I believe insight is important, but self-awareness alone won’t make you feel better; you also need to change your behavior. That’s why my approach is directive and solution-focused. I have training in CBT, DBT, Motivational Interviewing, Mindfulness, breathwork, Narrative Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Attachment Therapy, and 12-step principles. During sessions, I pull from these according to what will help you meet your goals. Here’s what I’ve learned by helping people have healthy relationships, distilled into three steps:
- Manage insecure attachment behaviors
- Regulate your nervous system
- Communicate skillfully
If you follow these three steps pretty well most of the time, you can improve your relationships with everyone – including yourself!
My Professional Background
I received a Bachelor of Arts in English from Georgetown University and a Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles. I did my clinical internship at the Southern California Counseling Center, where I received certificates in Gang Awareness Training and Family Therapy Training. I then completed Kinship Center’s Core Clinical Issues In Adoption training.
For seven years, I worked as a Unit Clinician at Vista Del Mar Child and Family Services in Los Angeles. I provided individual, family, and group therapy in a residential setting for adolescents suffering from complex trauma.
I worked as a Clinical Associate at the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, where I learned how to help adults challenged by love addiction and sexual compulsivity. I’ve also been a Primary Therapist and Clinical Director at two different substance use rehabs in the Los Angeles area.
I’ve been in private practice since 2011 and switched to telehealth therapy during the pandemic. I’ve found that most clients are relieved not to fight traffic and search for parking just to get some therapy. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California (LMFT 49578) and North Carolina (LMFT 2434).
In addition to being a psychotherapist, I write and talk about divorce and mental health topics. You can find my articles on HuffPost, YourTango, Good Men Project, Weinberger Law Group blog, and Addiction.com, to name a few places. My book, Transcending High-Conflict Divorce: How To Disengage From Your Ex And Find Your Power, is available on Amazon. You can listen to me opine on podcasts such as Divorce and Beyond, L.A. Not So Confidential, and A Sassy Little Podcast. I was also featured as the High-Conflict Divorce Specialist in the HBO Max Miniseries, Kim vs. Kanye: The Divorce.
Finally, I was a volunteer presenter at Second Saturday L.A., a monthly divorce workshop for people who want to know about the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of divorce before they get one.