Six Tips To Help You Survive High-Conflict Divorce
Do you lose track of time obsessing over all the ways your ex has wronged you? Do you gag when you see another vitriolic email arrive in your inbox? Do you sink into a vat of despair when you contemplate years of co-parenting with someone who won’t co-parent? If so, there are ways to regain…
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How Knowing Your Attachment Style Can Help You Love Well
What You Need To Know In Order To Love Well Most of the clients I treat come to me because they’re having trouble in their relationships. They’re not happy in their current one, not happy because they can’t find a good one, or not happy because they have a crappy divorce that they can’t make…
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Why You Need A Divorce Curfew
What’s A Divorce Curfew? My mother used to tell me that “nothing good happens after midnight.” As a teenager, I thought otherwise, but as a therapist specializing in high-conflict divorce, I’ve developed my own spin on Mom’s wisdom. In fact, I urge my clients to follow an even stricter curfew: to stop participating in any divorce-related activities…
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Stop Your Past From Ruining Your Present
“Do you want another chihuahua?” asked my Lyft driver. I glanced up from scanning my Instagram feed on my phone. “Are you talking to me?” I asked. “No,” said my driver, laughing. “I’m talking to my wife.” I noticed his ear buds and realized he was on the phone. I tried not to listen to…
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How To Communicate With A High-Conflict Person (Without Losing Your Mind)
If you’re stuck having to communicate with someone you can’t stand – a high-conflict co-parent —a crazy-making relative, a quixotic landlord, or anyone who has attached themselves to your life like a toxic barnacle — there’s hope! You can learn to communicate with someone with whom it feels impossible to communicate, but you need a strategy. And you need to…
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Why You Should Have a Spiritual Practice (Even If You Don’t Believe in God, Mantras, or Crystals)
Years ago I asked a ruthless family law attorney for her top piece of legal advice. Her answer surprised me because it had nothing to do with “winning.” She told me she urged her clients to maintain their spiritual practice. Although I didn’t ask her to explain, I have a pretty good guess why she…
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The #1 Tool That Can Help You Become Emotionally Sober After A High-Conflict Divorce
If you have a high-conflict ex, you may be unaware that you’re responding in ways that incite more drama. And when you have no choice but to maintain a co-parenting relationship with someone who makes even the most routine negotiations difficult, you may justify your own extreme moods and behaviors by blaming your former spouse.…
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How To Tell A Rebound Romance From A Healthy Relationship
Convinced you’ve found a lasting relationship because your new dating partner is everything your ex is not? Or so it seems? Take off your rose-colored glasses before planning a future together, and certainly before introducing your romantic partner to your children. When we’re in a state of infatuation, we tend to project what we want…
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Recovering From Your Partner’s Infidelity? Here Are 6 Things You Should Know
You’ve just discovered your partner’s infidelity or sexual addiction and life as you knew it — or thought you knew it — is gone. You wonder if you ever really knew the person. You wonder if you’ll ever trust her again. You wonder why he cheated and what his acting-out partner (or partners, online or…
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The Amazing Thing That Happens When You Believe That You Matter
Have you ever woken up a year (or two, or ten) into a relationship to find yourself boiling with resentment? You’re sick of feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. You do so many things to accommodate your partner, but there never seems to be much reciprocity. You keep waiting for the day when your partner…
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