divorce Archives · Virginia Gilbert, MFT

Stop Your Past From Ruining Your Present

“Do you want another chihuahua?” asked my Lyft driver. I glanced up from scanning my Instagram feed on my phone. “Are you talking to me?” I asked. “No,” said my driver, laughing. “I’m talking to my wife.” I noticed his ear buds and realized he was on the phone. I tried not to listen to…

Why You Should Have a Spiritual Practice (Even If You Don’t Believe in God, Mantras, or Crystals)

Years ago I asked a ruthless family law attorney for her top piece of legal advice. Her answer surprised me because it had nothing to do with “winning.” She told me she urged her clients to maintain their spiritual practice. Although I didn’t ask her to explain, I have a pretty good guess why she…

The #1 Tool That Can Help You Become Emotionally Sober After A High-Conflict Divorce

If you have a high-conflict ex, you may be unaware that you’re responding in ways that incite more drama. And when you have no choice but to maintain a co-parenting relationship with someone who makes even the most routine negotiations difficult, you may justify your own extreme moods and behaviors by blaming your former spouse.…

5 Good Things You Should Tell Yourself After a Bad Divorce

Your thoughts, not your circumstances, determine if you thrive after divorce. You could end up with the house, your preferred custody plan, the china and the crystal, and still blame your ex for messing up your formerly picture-perfect existence. Or, you could trade the house for an apartment, less custody time than you’d hoped, mismatched…

Divorced From a Narcissist and Feeling Crazy? Try Doing This One Thing To Empower Yourself

Divorce from a narcissist will keep you miserable, sleepless, panic-stricken, and crazy until you develop this crucial mindset: Radical Acceptance Radical Acceptance is a mindfulness principle. It means you accept reality, as painful as reality is at this moment. Your reality is that the narcissist in your life is fundamentally incapable of giving you what…